The Story Behind The Band
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Photo by J. Piwowarczyk |
Dorks In Space are a three-piece rock and roll band based in Tempe, Arizona. The band began to emerge from the primordial ooze in the winter of 2001/2002 as three unhip science dorks gathered in a small room to eke out primitive renditions of their favorite U2, Tom Petty, Neil Young, Ramones, Social Distortion, Type O Negative, etc. tunes. Grizzled rock veteran and guitarist Stash Kovac endeavored to teach to neophyte bassist Black Susan and drummer Q everything he knew about rock, specifically "keep playin' them eighth notes".
Quickly, a powerful, muscular, dagger-toothed, fire-breathing, multigender-vocal-harmonizing, out-of-control Rock and Roll Monster emerged, devouring many of Stash's stash of original songs to add to its bellyful of tasty covers. Over a space of only a few short years, the band conquered house parties, bars, and even weddings across vast stretches of the 85281 zip code. In the early months of 2004, the band gathered once again in the same small room and spent many hours discovering ways to put highly advanced digital recording technology to insultingly primitive uses. In April of 2004, Dorks In Space finally release their full-length debut CD, "Free Range Astromeat". The fifteen high-protein, high-calorie tracks of Astromeat provide the potent fuel for Dorks In Space's further journeys into the unkown...
The Dorks Behind Dorks In Space:
Here's some information about us. To protect the innocent, names, places, dates, and probably most of the facts have been changed. Inferences can be made, but Dorks In Space assumes no liability for damages that may arise from inferences which are incorrect.
:: Vocals, Guitar: Stash Kovac
Stash Kovac was born in AD 1237 in a small village on the River Bug, somewhere near the present-day border between Poland and Belarus. His childhood habit of climbing trees caused him to be the sole survivor when his village was pillaged and burned by Mongol hordes in 1241. He subisted on nuts and berries in the forest for a few weeks until he was abducted / adopted by space aliens from the neighborhood of star cluster M35. He enjoyed several years of cruising the galaxy, seeing diverse alien cultures, beginning his science and engineering education, and getting an 800-year head start on electric guitar. However, a tritium fuel supply miscalculation led to the spacecraft becoming powerless and adrift in the inky blackness of outer space. All aboard were locked in cryofreeze for several centuries until the ship was found and ransacked by a marauding band of interstellar space rednecks. They recognized the small boy as one of their own, and thawed him out as they raced towards Earth and Wrigley Field to cheer on the Cardinals against the Chicago Cubs in June of 1984. But when Ryne Sandberg launched the second of his two late-inning home runs off Bruce Sutter, the child instantly became a die-hard Cubs fan. The frustrated and enraged space rednecks jettisoned the lad from the craft and he landed in the soft, fertile dirt of Iowa, where he was adopted by a kindly local family. After compiling a career 3-25 record in high school wrestling, he turned his attention to the sonic realm, acquiring a Fender Precison Bass and a Tascam four-track. He churned out numerous recordings over the years, sometimes with accomplices, sometimes alone, under monikers such as Chaos Theory, Dead Heinrich, Incestuous Poulty, and Rupert Ursus, while collecting engineering degrees in diverse locales such as Iowa City, Iowa (where he held down the bass for a while with groove-rockers 5 O'Clock Charlie), and Santa Barbara, CA. It was here that Stash Kovac recorded the ambitious full-length CD "Where The Geeks Have No Shame" and began performing his songs at the Java Jones open mic, attracting a devoted throng of followers numbering as many as three or even four rabid fans clamoring to sing along to "Someday I'll Get Laid" again. He moved to the scorching asphalt of Tempe, AZ in the summer of 2000 to implement synergistic paradigms in customer-oriented performance excellence solutions for Corporate America. While lying on his bed, half-asleep from a hard week's work at this activity, he heard rhythmic, thumping, bass-throbbing sounds emanating from the next room. It was a bassist and a drummer, a rhythm section, brand new yet fully formed, like Athena from the head of Zeus, right there in his own house. The three of them realized they were Dorks... dorks together, with a common cause... Dorks In Space...
:: Vocals, Bass: Black Susan
The bassist was born to two native Oregonians, one of whom had an aversion to mint tea and the other of whom had an aversion to Led Zeppelin. Fortunately, either these traits are not inheritable or are recessive. Early on she developed an affinity for dolls, power tools, reading, sewing, and cats. In her youth, she and her three sisters began a lifelong collaboration which eventually resulted in international infamy and their being lots of fun at parties. A cheerleader in high school, she misplaced a clap during the classic "two bits" cheer, causing her basketball team to lose the state championship. She left high school in shame and drowned herself in her studies, managing to graduate from college by playing with toys. She apparently failed to learn her lesson the first time around, as she went to graduate school immediately afterwards. Unable to come to terms with a past that included playing the flute and lusting over anything pink, she decided that best course of action was to purchase black vinyl clothes and learn to play the bass. She enjoys cooking, tea, beer, quantum physics, long walks in the desert, and updating broken hyperlinks. She thinks she may be in love with her PowerBook.
:: Random Noises, Drums: Q
Born to Viking parents and raised in a houseboat sailing the Aral Sea, Q soon came to discover his love for banging the mother f*@!ing crap out of anything he could find. Channeling this burgeoning bludgeoning badness into something artistic would take effort the likes of which the world had never seen...or a drum kit. Thankfully, after 26 years of existence, a drum kit showed up, and now Q simply takes out his residual anger on small, unsuspecting objects with a butane torch. Ask his friends, and most of them will tell you that Q is ____. RIDE THE BEAT!